I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Randomize
