I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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