based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Randomize
