Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
