I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
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