hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
