i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Randomize
