You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
