Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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