If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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