we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
