it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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