It's like a parade of train wrecks.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
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