5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize