I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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