We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
