Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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