who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
It's rum buckets o'clock
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
