Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
