I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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