i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
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at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
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we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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