my phone cant type all the emotion im having
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
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