How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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