I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
