U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize