Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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