dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Randomize
