Welp...herpes.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
