youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Randomize
