Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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