I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Randomize
