I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
