im six kinds of drunk right now
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize