dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
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