i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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