im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
