i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
