I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
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