And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
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Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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