Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
is that a dick in a sweater?
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
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