You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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