Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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