...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize