For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
