don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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