the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
