I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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