Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
please come you make the beer taste better
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
