I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
