she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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