Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Randomize
