Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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