Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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