Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
