awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize
