what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
