the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
