Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Randomize
