CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Shame is for Republicans.
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