Life is so much better after having sex.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
