In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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