so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
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Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
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In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
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