You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize