census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Randomize
