I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
