I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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