Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Randomize
